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1AM



It's 1AM, As I think back 5 hours ago,
Watching grown folks indulge in the idea of marriage.
Such a beautiful thing when its true essence is given,
However the case,
The reverse isn't the same.

I felt like a bird on a mountain top, 
Looking down with a vision of that of an eagle trying to see what I can get from it.
I listened as they rambled about adult jokes.

A soothsayer wasn't needed as the drift in class could be told. 
The song on the radio is sung along by a wife,
With lyrics that seem to shred fragments of the heart.
A beautiful voice but with emotion and pain littered around it.
The rest said their good nights to their spouse over the phone.

Standing over on my balcony as the clock is 17 minutes away from hitting 1AM,
Lonely as hell,
But somehow I find confidence and comfort when I seldom let my thoughts run loose,
Days when they are controlled, I seem to run low on the double C.
My heart seems like an uncaged beast,
But my soul is angelic. 
I hate when this shit happens.

Pieces of memories of you pieced up in a surreal manner that makes for unaware smiles.
I still recall our last conversation dialled with my heart,
You said a prayer for me and helped with encouraging words that I drew strength from and I was left with undeniable questions of what if without having to write a line of code.

Love often-time is a bittersweet ground and I couldn't help but spare a thought if we'd thread on that ground Amama,
But then again the thought of that scares me.
However the case, love is selfish, 
Love doesn't grow with the number of lovers, it wastes away.
And I hope you don't spend much time loving self because self-love equates to self-doubt.
Marriage is the tomb of love but then again,
The tables turn, the bridges burn, you only live and learn.

I learnt this as the clock hit 1AM.

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